MEMORIAL SERVICE TO CELEBRATE THE LIFE OF DAMAYANTHA WICKREMESINGHE 

                           Dam /Akka / Lokuamma / Sudhu / Athamma 

                                       14.11.1926   -   12.12.2011

A memorial service to celebrate the life of Damayantha Wickremesinghe was held at the Cathedral of Christ the Living Saviour Baudhaloka Mawatha on the 12th of January 2012 at 5.30 pm, It was held exactly one month after she died and was officiated by Bishop Duleep de Chickera as was her wish She had also selected the Hymns and readings for the service. 

The Cathedral on Baudhaloka Mawatha was her regular place of worship and it was beautifully decorated two of her dear friends Dushi Fernando (Ladies College and Girl Guides) and Anila Dias Bandaranayake whose mother was one of her closest friends and a relation the late Muktha Wijesinghe, 

Due to the severe weather upcountry finding flowers for the memorial service was a difficult task but SK and Lilamani were up to the task by gathering up all the white flowers from Nuwara Eliya and a few from Shirohana's and it turned out to be exactly what she would have ordered. 


The Flowers 

The order of service handout 

The order of service 


INTRODUCTION:
Priest: I am the resurrection and the life says the Lord.  He who   believes in me will live even though he dies and  whoever lives and believes in me will never die. 

Blessed be God

People: Blessed be God’s reign forever.  Amen.

Priest: The Lord is with you


People: And also with you

HYMN No. 1 To God be the glory

To God be the glory, great things He has done;
So loved He the world that He gave us His Son,
Who yielded His life an atonement for sin,
And opened the life gate that all may go in.

Chorus 
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
Let the earth hear His voice!
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord,
Let the people rejoice!
O come to the Father, through Jesus the Son,
And give Him the glory, great things He has done.

O perfect redemption, the purchase of blood,
To every believer the promise of God;
The vilest offender who truly believes,
That moment from Jesus a pardon receives.
Chorus 

Great things He has taught us, great things He has done,
And great our rejoicing through Jesus the Son;
But purer, and higher, and greater will be
Our wonder, our transport, when Jesus we see.
Chorus



Priest 
Today we come together before God,  to remember  Damayantha and  to give 
thanks for the life of this gentle, generous spirit, for the love, the friendship 
and joy she shared with us and to comfort one another in our grief.
We thank God for the faith she kept and for her love for her family, her loyalty 
to her friends and her caring for those around her.  We commend her to God 
whom she worshipped in this life and with whom, we pray, she will rest in 
peace forever.
Let us pray:
God our comforter
You are our refuge and strength
A helper close at hand in times of trouble
Help us so to hear your word
That our fear may be dispelled
Our loneliness eased
And our hope reawakened
May your Holy Spirit lift us above our sorrow 
To the peace and light of your constant love
Through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen


BIBLE READING (by Pravir Goonewardene) 

Reading from the Letter of St Paul to the Thessalonians Chapter 4 vs. 13 to 18

We do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, about those who have fallen asleep,

so that you may not grieve like the rest, who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose, so too will God, through Jesus, bring with him those who have fallen asleep. Indeed, we tell you this, on the word of the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord,

will surely not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself, with a word of command, with the voice of an archangel and with the trumpet of God, will come down from heaven,

and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Thus we shall always be with the Lord.

Therefore, console one another with these words

HYMN  No. 2   What a friend we have in Jesus
What a friend we have in Jesus,
All our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
Oh, what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer! 
Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful,
Who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness;
Take it to the Lord in prayer. 
Are we weak and heavy-laden,
Cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge—
Take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
Thou wilt find a solace there. 


Tribute (by Rohan Goonewardene) 

I feel deeply privileged that Uncle SK and the family have asked me to deliver the tribute to my aunt at this Thanksgiving Service.   She was a wonderful  gift from God to all who knew her - a  devoted wife, a loving daughter,  a caring sister and sister in law, aunt and grand aunt, and a  loyal cousin and friend.  She was the epitome of love and concern.  I am sure each one of our families have been touched by her sincerity through the years.

I will not touch on my aunt's work for various causes as these have been referred to extensively in the newspaper tributes and appreciations. Instead I will say something on how we saw her and the way she has influenced us in an abiding manner.

It was not only her endearing  ways but also her unbounded energy and care for others  which impressed me even as a young child.  When my grandmother died she took over looking after my grandfather’s household.  She would visit him almost every morning and return in the evening to take him out visiting or walking on the Galle Face Green.    She was very involved in many charities and she would often take me with her and make me sit on her lap so that I would not wander around, while she attended to her work.  She never failed to visit friends and relations and our home was a favourite stopover and my brother, sister and I could not have been happier to see her.   All this she did in addition  to  running an elegant home, tending a beautiful garden,  and taking on  a heavy round of  social activities as uncle SK’s wife.  She never lost that zeal even after she fell ill about five years ago,  though no doubt she took life a lot easier.  She took to reading  especially old books on Sri Lanka, from a valuable collection left to her by her father.  Recently despite her failing strength she edited and published his memoirs with the help of her family which brought her  great joy and a sense of fulfillment.   She did not forget her friends and  continued to go round visiting them  almost every other day, especially those who were housebound.       

My aunt loved  her nieces and nephews but I think  I could say without exaggeration that she spent most time on me  Undoubtedly   I would have caused her most concern as a child.  My mother was working and I do not know what she would have done without my aunt.  I disliked school .  From Ladies College to St. Thomas’ Prep she had to use every ruse to see that I stayed on.  With difficulty I settled down to nursery education at  Ladies College but it started all over again at  Prep School.   She would come with me to school.  We had a pact  that she would not leave but  only many years later that she told me that after I went to class she would jump over the short wall which separated the school from the railway line and return the same way before school closed. I was also then to learn that she had been a record breaking hurdler  at  university.   

Later when Uncle SK went to London I stayed with them and completed my higher studies. The determination of my aunt to keep me in the straight and narrow in London where many a youngster could go astray and put my nose to the grind of hard studying is another, sometimes, amusing story. While my friends were out drinking   at the pub, it was not for me.  She would be there at the door when I got late from lectures.  But all the time with a smile and a hug.   
  
My aunt was someone who kept up with the changing social times but had rather conservative instincts and values all but lost now. She was simple in her ways. Extravagance or flaunting of material things was alien to her.  She was a dignified  person, elegant and poised with a gracious and humble demeanour.       Likewise, what the French call noblesse oblige came naturally to her. She felt strongly that she had a responsibility  to help those less well off, particularly deserving individuals known to her.  Nothing gave her greater pleasure than to see the children and grandchildren of those who served her household , doing well in life .             
 
Another trait of my aunt was her belief in close-knit family relationships.  she had a life long interest in her immediate family  Being the eldest  she was proud of all their successes and helped them when required. Their children and grandchildren brought her equal joy.  She commanded respect even when she had to tick them off on matters that met her disapproval. An uncle of mine living abroad says that he has a bundle of over 600 letters sent by her to him over 50 years mainly describing the foibles and frailties, and other news, of various members of the family---a treasure trove, for a future generation in the family, to read.
 

She was also profoundly religious in an un showy, almost downbeat, Anglican way. She was proud of her Christian background which extended back many generations but was aware that as Sri Lankans we were immersed in many cultures and influenced by many religious teachings and was proud of this heritage.   She often read and re-read her favourite passage from the Bible,  taken from St. Paul’s letter to the Corinthians  and meditated on what it meant to her everyday life.  She would want me to read this passage today,  as she herself had desired, at this memorial to her:

“If I give away all I have,/   and if I deliver my body to be burned,/ but have not love,/   I gain nothing.

Love is patient, and kind, / love is not jealous or boastful,/  it is not arrogant or rude. / Love, does not insist on its own way; /it  is not irritable or resentful; /  it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right./   Love bears all things, /  believes all things,/ hopes all things,/ endures all things”.

May I on behalf of the family thank all of you who have come this evening. We are touched by your presence at this service of thanksgiving for the life and work of my aunt Damayantha.
 
CHOIR  (Power of your Love)

REFLECTION (Read by Tamzyn Hulugalle Miyazaki) 

I would be true, for there are those who trust me;
I would be pure, for there are those who care;
I would be strong, for there is much to suffer;
I would be brave, for there is much to dare.
I would be friend of all—the foe, the friendless;
I would be giving, and forget the gift;
I would be humble, for I know my weakness;
I would look up, and laugh, and love, and lift.
I would be faithful through each passing moment;

I would be constantly in touch with God;
I would be strong to follow where He leads me;
I would have faith to keep the path Christ trod.
Who is so low that I am not his brother?
Who is so high that I’ve no path to him?
Who is so poor I may not feel his hunger?
Who is so rich I may not pity him?
Who is so hurt I may not know his heartache?
Who sings for joy my heart may never share?
Who in God’s heav’n has passed beyond my vision?
Who to hell’s depths where I may never fare?
May none, then, call on me for understanding,
May none, then, turn to me for help in pain,
And drain alone his bitter cup of sorrow,
Or find he knocks upon my heart in vain.



 

HYMN No.3    The King of love my Shepherd is

The King of love my Shepherd is,
Whose goodness faileth never;
I nothing lack if I am His
And He is mine for ever.
4Where streams of living water flow
My ransomed soul He leadeth,
And where the verdant pastures grow
With food celestial feedeth.
Perverse and foolish oft I strayed,
But yet in love He sought me,
And on His shoulder gently laid,
And home rejoicing brought me.
In death’s dark vale I fear no ill
With thee, dear Lord, beside me;
Thy rod and staff my comfort still,
Thy cross before to guide me.
Thou spread’st a table in my sight;
Thy unction grace bestoweth;
And O what transport of delight
From Thy pure chalice floweth!
And so through all the length of days
Thy goodness faileth never:
Good Shepherd, may I sing Thy praise
Within Thy house for ever.

BIBLE READING (by Nikhil Goonewardene) 

Reading from the Gospel of St John Chapter 14 vs. 1 to 6 

(Jesus said to His disciples,)  [1] "Let not your hearts be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.  [2] In My Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, 
would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you?  [3] And when I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to Myself, that where I am 
you may be also.  [4] And you know the way where I am going."  [5] Thomas said to Him, "Lord, we do not know where You are going; how can we know the way?"  [6] Jesus said to him, "I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Life; no one comes to the Father, but by Me."




TRIBUTE:  By Christine de Silva

What a wonderful song her life sang



I stand here to-day, sad, but enormously proud and honoured  by the request,to pay a tribute to a greatly valued friend.



Those of us who have gathered here, are united byour deep respect for the 

truly Christian woman we mourn. One who lived her life, above all else, by 

example. Dam was a delightful lady. Quietly enthusiasticabout everything in life. 

The longer she lived, the more inspirational she became.   In fact, I conveyed as 

much to her  on her 85th b'day  the  milestone she arrived at so recently.



There is so much i would like to say, so many shared adventures, spanning severalyears  of a close friendship. Especially meaningful, has been the  quality time spent in the  Wickremesinghe abode. be it here in Sri Lanka, or in the official residence   in London, theirs was  essentially a  'home....nothing ostentatious or pretentious, rather, a home where a  warm and genuine  welcome was always extended to whoever it  was, prince or pauper, that entered .  

I recall so clearly,  the excitement of being spectators together at the  Olympics in Munich, way back in 1972.

When you Lilanthi, was also with us, adding to the congenial company, the
hitherto never experienced  Calgary stampede  and ,the fun of the Edinburgh
festival in Scotland, where, having  enjoyed the varied performances on stage, we had our first tastings of 'haggis' and even a somewhat futile attempt at dancing a highland fling!!



Our Russian odyssey and  the sheer 

magic of St. Petersburg .

The splendours of Rajasthan including 

the novelty of the camel festival in        Pushkar.

Following on, the wonders of Peru...

when neither dam nor S.K. Showed 

any signs of fatigue and it was I, who     hogged some of the limelight. The         altitude got to me and i had to be 

revived by dam, with coca tea!

There were plenty of great experiences  in Sri Lanka  too, of course.

But during our trip to Norway with Malin, cruising the spectacular Fjords and
feasting on other incredible sights,  dam herself  realised that soon, she would  not really be strong enough , to cope with so much travelling.

However, despite all the good times we have had to-gether, what i will personally   treasure most, is her wisdom,  her humility and her care & concern , not  only for my well-being and  that of my family, But also, for the world at large.

Dam could always be relied on for an  opinion, but never aired from one who, even remotely, could be called opinionated. She was able to stand her ground,often      despite challenging opposition!!

She had the courage of her own convictions and in her quiet inimitable, dignified  manner, succeeded in having her voice heard, whilst so many  others had  theirs  raised  at full volume, during   frequent, heated, animated and illuminating              discussions. Often, she would call for calm,  resorting to her school teacher tactics,

with repeated pleas of "shush, shush, shush!!

Every one of us has connected with dam in our own way, whether as a member of her family, or otherwise.




Speaking for myself, she was a friend , i would gladly have chosen as family. When we look back, we will all have our own feelings, our own  knowledge, our own       understanding and our special relationship ,  to sustain us...  her life has passed, but she has made  memories that will last. whilst respecting & acknowledging this diversity of views & experiences, I know there is sufficient common ground to       unite us in our grief,over the passing of an outstanding human being.

You, S.K., were the light of her life....her knight in shining armour. 

It was obvious, that she in turn, was, (in your own words) your indispensable soul mate and your  loyal friend, who demonstrated so clearly by word and action,     what unconditional love was really all about. 

A role model for many . ... Hers, was a truly class act.

I consider myself hugely blessed, to have had her as guiding light, radiating serenity, unfailingly shining      that torch of compassion and forgiveness if only I      could aspire to emulating some of those traits!


She had  a spontaneous generosity,   nothing was ever edged with a threat   nor indeed,  a shred of

 revenge, or a hint of ill will.

Despite her failing health and her sheer determination to keep go in (primarily with your interests at 

heart, S.K.)   It was becoming increasingly evident     that she was getting very tired and a cure was not to be. So, God      finally granted her the rest she  richly deserved. The time had come   to let   her 

go.

Her demise is undoubtedly going to create a huge void, but it will, 
hopefully, be filled only with remembered joy. No one can deny her, her well          earned, peaceful passing, in the comfort of her  home and  most fortuitously, with you S.K., right beside her.




She was surrounded by the flowers 

outside  the bedroom which she
herself tended with such care, all of 

which appeared to be in full bloom to
pave  the way for her,  as we witnessed her final exit from that room.

A truly fitting end to the wonderful song her life sang.





I would like to quote some words written by an unknown author, which i feel
would have had the seal of approval from dam herself

 A limb has fallen from the family tree .
 I keep hearing a voice that says  "grieve not for me"

 remember the best times,  the laughter,  the song
 continue my heritage...i am counting on you
 keep smiling and surely, the sun will shine through
 my mind is at ease....my soul is at rest
 remembering all how i truly was blessed
 continue traditions.... No matter how small
 go on with your life... don't worry about a fall
 I miss you all dearly, so keep up your chin
 until that day.....when we are to-gether again

 Thank you S.K. For sharing Dam  with so many


 Thank you Dam, my very dear friend, for the memory of your exemplary life
 and  for touching and  enhancing mine.

CHOIR :  (On Eagles Wings)

SERMON:  Bishop Duleep De Chickera

Bishop Duleep De Chickera

THE LORD’S PRAYER:  (CHOIR)

INTERCESSIONS : (read by Sharmali Hulugalle)
God of mercy, Lord of life
You have made us in Your image
To reflect Your truth and light
We give You thanks for Damayantha
For the grace and mercy she received from You
For all that was good in her life
For the memories we treasure today 
we specially thank You
Lord in your mercy. 
Response: Hear our prayer

You promised eternal life to those who believe
Remember for good this, Your servant Damayantha
As we also remember her
Bring all who rest in Christ
Into the fullness of Your kingdom
Where sins have been forgiven 
And death is no more.
Lord in your mercy. 
Response: Hear our prayer

Your mighty power brings joy out of grief
And life out of death
Look in mercy on all of us who mourn
Give us patient faith in times of darkness
Strengthen us with the knowledge of Your love
Lord in your mercy. 
Response: Hear our prayer

You are tender towards Your children 
and Your mercy is over all Your works. 
Heal the memories of hurt and failure. 
Give us the wisdom and grace to use aright
 the time that is left to us here on earth, 
to turn to Christ and follow in his steps
 in the way that leads to everlasting life. 
Lord in your mercy. 
Response: Hear our prayer

CHOIR: (Amazing Grace)

REFLECTION:  (Read by Sonia Fernando)
You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.
Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday. 
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back,
or you can do what she would want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on. 
                                                                                      David Harkins

PRAYERS

BLESSING

HYMN No. 4 Great is Thy faithfulness,

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father;
There is no shadow of turning with Thee;
Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not;
As Thou hast been, Thou forever will be.
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
Summer and winter and springtime and harvest,
Sun, moon and stars in their courses above
Join with all nature in manifold witness
To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love.
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!
Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth
Thine own dear presence to cheer and to guide;
Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,
Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Great is Thy faithfulness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided;
Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!